How To Be Free From
All Of Your Bad Habits
Hello. My name is Doctor VanderHawk.
If you are like most people I know, you've got some kind of problem or perhaps a multitude of problems that you feel is really making your life a grueling, miserable, living hell. Wouldn't you like to rid yourself of those (that) thing(s)?(!)
I have discovered that the ancient art of self-hypnosis is the key to just that! By simply
staring into the image provided below for anywhere from two to forty-five minutes at a time, while monotonously repeating one of the positive self-affirmations I have also provided, You'll soon be saying "I feel like a new man or a new woman!"
If you don't believe me, just try it for yourself. But please just remember to e-mail me and let me know how much better of a person you've become.
I'll bill you accordingly! (Ha!)
I am a happy person.
I am a peppy person.
I am a very special person.
(but not 'special' like mentally challenged, or anything like that!)
I no longer have the desire to smoke, drink, overeat, oversleep, hit my wife, hit my husband, hit my children,
hit my dog, or cat, or any other pet of any kind.
My life is perfect.
It really is perfect.
I'm not just saying that, either.
Each day I am happier than I ever was or have been before (or something like that).
I am mightier than all of my many miserable problems.
I am a handsome man or a pretty woman.
My body is free from all tumors, lesions, blisters, boils, warts, fungi, yeast infections, aches, pains, spasms, deformities, any and all life-threatening diseases...and acne.
I no longer feel the need to binge and purge.
I am NOT Possessed!
I will no longer silently fart in public places.
I will no longer clip my toenails with my teeth.
I will no longer shoplift to support my crack cocaine habit.
I will no longer be condescending to stupid people.
I am no longer filled with disgust and self-loathing.
I am no longer consumed with my own pathetic inadequacies.
I am at peace with myself.
I am at peace with all those who cross my path in life.
I can forgive and be at peace with those who piss me off.
But those who continue to piss me off are in for big, big trouble.
I am SO serious!!!
I can bend spoons with my mind.
I can travel back and forth in time.
I can silence annoying people with my powerful gaze.
All that is good and powerful in the universe is mine!
I could go on and on. But you get the general idea.
Remember, monotonous repetition of these sayings
is the key to overcoming your wretched problems.
And remember, Rome was not built in a day, or even
two or three days, but in actual fact, it took a series of
several continuous days to actually build Rome.
(In other words, hang in there!) - Dr. VanderHawk
DISCLAIMER: Dr. VanderHawk is not a licensed
hypnotherapist. Nor is he an actual doctor.
Nor is Spencer VanderHawk his real name.
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